By wanting to strip Harvard University of its ability to enrol foreign students, the don of Truth Social Community College plans to take care of the age-old question: how does one make Ivy League elitism even more insufferable? Answer: seal it off from cultural and intellectual influences other than that of frat-boy economists who think Adam Smith was one of America's founding fathers. If Trump's ban on non-American smart people manages to overcome Friday's temporary restraining order by a federal judge, no longer will Harvard's hallowed halls echo with the sharp wit of a young French philosopher, or the quiet brilliance of a Japanese physicist, or the strategic pirouettes of an Indian MBA hoopster. Instead, there will be bright lad Chad from Connecticut - with Jacques, Akira and Praveen honing their smarts elsewhere.

Sure, the number of Nobel laureates may fall - even as the likes of Barack Obama (peace), Kenneth Arrow (economics) and Linda Buck (medicine) may secretly disagree. But the number of golf-course business majors will spike. Vardians will be free to learn about international affairs without the bother of actual international people. For all of you planning a Harvard degree, have a Harvard sticker for the back window of your SUV ready. There's always Tsinghua, Heidelberg or Ashoka that can spare you Harvard-Donald blushes.