Christmas is a time of spreading joy, a celebration of reveling in gifts given and received. Yet not every gift is given equally, or even given at all, as one teenager discovered. The boy came to a startling realization about what the holidays are actually like behind the scenes, and it left him heartbroken for himself and his mom.

The truth is, holidays for parents, especially moms, are hard. There’s so much work and so little recognition. Dads seem to get off scot-free, whereas moms are left juggling all the labor, emotional, and physical. Moms are the ones who make the season magical, and Santa gets the bulk of the credit.

A teen boy was left ‘heartbroken’ after realizing his mom filled her own stocking every year on Christmas Eve.

He shared a short yet profound TikTok post of himself in the bathroom, sitting against the wall with a melancholic look on his face. “Just learned my mother fills her own stocking on Christmas Eve,” the overlaid text stated.” I didn’t believe Santa did it, or whatever… people came up with. But I believed in my father.”

kryzhov | Shutterstock

For many kids, Christmas magic feels a little less magical when they realize the legend of Santa bringing presents is just that: A legend, created by their parents to spark joy in their hearts. Yet as this teen’s post shows, it’s equally as devastating, if not more so, to learn that your parents aren’t who you thought they were.

“For the longest time, I thought my dad could care enough to do that simple thing for her,” the teen explained. “But he can’t. She does it all on her own.” In the caption, he wrote, “I don’t think he is the man my mom thought she would end up with when she was a little girl.”

: Mom Feels Hurt After Her Husband Let Their Kids Open Christmas Presents Before She Woke Up — ‘I Don’t Think I’ve Ever Been This Mad’

The teen explained how his mom gets overlooked at Christmas time.

“My dad gets her Christmas ‘gifts,’ but it’s just her telling us exactly what she wants and me and my brothers are the ones who buy it anyway,” he shared. Comments flooded in from other teens who had the same experience of realizing that their moms either filled their own stockings or received no gifts at all.

As one of them said, “My mom fills all of ours and hers is always empty. I started to fill it now since no one in the family does. She deserves the world.”

Someone else commented that their family Christmas functions similarly. They described the holiday dynamic in their household, saying, “My mom buys everything for everyone and my dad doesn’t even know what we get.” 

As mom and emotional labor expert Gemma Hartley explained in a piece for HuffPost, “Women already perform the bulk of emotional labor ― the psychological phenomenon of unpaid, often unnoticed labor that goes into keeping everyone around you comfortable and happy. But during the holidays, this work ramps up. There are more mental lists to juggle, more commitments on the calendar to keep track of, more tasks to delegate. There is more pressure to make things magical for those around you. It takes a lot of unseen and underappreciated effort to keep everything humming along smoothly.”

But at what cost? The holidays become about everyone and everything else, and instead of the most wonderful time of the year, for women, it becomes the most stressful. Hartley went on to say, “It’s me who puts the parties and potluck dishes on the calendar, keeps track of the winter coat drive, plans the get-togethers with both sides of the family, expends the mental energy of figuring out gifts for everyone. It’s exhausting, and seems unending (at least until after the new year rolls in). Normally, this level of productivity would make me feel like a rockstar, but during this time of year, it simply feels like I’m falling short.”

Having to fill up your own stocking and even making your own list of gifts doesn’t exactly make it feel any better.

: Daughter Says Not Receiving Christmas Gifts For The Past 10 Years Was The Best Decision Her Parents Ever Made

The boy responded with a resonant thought, expressing how ‘it’s weird growing out of the [phase] where kids idolize their dads.’ 

Dmytro Hai | Shutterstock

There’s a moment during the transition from childhood to young adulthood when you realize your parents’ flaws. It’s an inevitable and heartbreaking moment; fully grasping that your parents are fallible humans is a major shift in perspective. 

It’s one of many moments when the veil is lifted, and you see the world for what it really is: an imperfect place full of people who hurt each other, even when they don’t mean to. Yet the world isn’t entirely dark and depressing, and even the slightest moments of goodness can come from difficult realizations. 

The top comment under the boy’s post expressed awe at his deep level of emotional intelligence, as the person who left it noted, “I can’t imagine how proud your mother must be to have such an aware and empathic child. I’m sure you are the greatest gift she could ever ask for.”

While the boy’s father might not be who he thought he was, the boy himself can grow into whoever he wants to be. It’s possible that the man he’s set to become is the opposite version of the man who raised him, someone who understands the importance of caring for others.

: Mom Warns Husbands To Consider What They’ve Contributed To The Holiday Season Before Joking About How Much Their Wives Spend On Gifts

Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.