Remember those heartfelt lines from Katy Perry’s The One That Got Away?
“In another life, I would make you stay, so I don’t have to say you were the one that got away.”
It feels like the perfect anthem for missed love stories, doesn’t it?

The idea of “the one that got away” is something almost everyone relates to. It’s more than a popular lyric—it’s like a shared experience we’ve all quietly been part of.

Maybe it was someone you met while backpacking through Europe, a co-worker you secretly adored but never confessed to, or even that mysterious classmate whose name you never learned. These are the moments that leave us pondering what could have been, stirring up a blend of nostalgia and that small, familiar ugh, why didn’t I just say it?

But hey, no need to get too sentimental. Thinking about our almost-loves can also be a sweet, sometimes even funny, trip down memory lane.

So, let’s step into this world of missed chances and lingering what-ifs. Who knows? You might uncover something meaningful about love, timing, and the tiny crossroads that shape our lives.

If you’re wondering whether someone from your past might be your TOTGA (the one that got away), here are some signs that can offer clarity and even a bit of emotional healing:

# Persistent Thoughts

If your mind often drifts back to them—even after years—it’s a strong sign they left a mark. This usually hints at unresolved feelings or questions about how things might have turned out.
Our brains crave closure, especially when emotions are involved, so these recurring thoughts might be your mind’s way of processing unfinished business.

# Comparing Them to Current Partners

Catching yourself comparing your present relationships to the one you had—or almost had—with your TOTGA? That’s a major indicator.
This often stems from the contrast effect, where a powerful past connection becomes the benchmark, highlighting unmet emotional needs in your current life.

# Emotional Reactions

Feeling a twinge of sadness or regret when you think about them reveals the emotional depth of that bond.
This ties into loss aversion, where the pain of losing something meaningful feels heavier than gaining something new. Your heart remembers what felt significant.

# Shifts in Life Priorities

If your experience with them led you to rethink your goals, values, or choices, it shows how strongly they influenced your growth.
Powerful connections—especially those that didn’t fully bloom—often leave behind lessons that shape who we become.

# Social Media Curiosity

Regularly checking their profile? That’s today’s version of lingering attachment.
This kind of “virtual lingering” keeps you connected to someone who once mattered deeply, even if they’re no longer in your life.

# Dreams and Daydreams

If they show up in your dreams or your idle daydreams about reunion scenarios, your subconscious is still working through your emotions.
Dreams often reveal thoughts and desires we don’t fully acknowledge when awake.

# Avoiding Certain Places or People

If you steer clear of spots, activities, or people associated with them, it’s likely your mind trying to protect you from emotional discomfort.
It’s a quiet form of self-preservation.

# Nostalgic Triggers

A song, a street, a scent—sometimes the smallest things can pull you right back to moments with your TOTGA.
That’s sensory memory at work, bringing past emotions to the surface as vividly as the day they happened.
These triggers show just how deeply they’re woven into your emotional history.