Mostly feedbacks are given with good intentions, but it often leaves people with a sense of defensiveness or offence. The feedback maynot be wrong but maybe the delivery process is unsafe. The key thing is attitude, which decides whether the feedback is to build or to corrode. It's not a matter of honesty. Let's take the matter of feedback in two poles: one is constructive criticism that aims to improve behavior and the other is contempt, to attack an individual's character, intelligence or worth. This article guides you on how feedback feels to the receiver, not just how it sounds to the speaker.



The Difference Isn’t the Message, It’s the Meaning Behind It




A well-wisher somestimes do constructive criticism to focus maybe on behaviour or the impact of certain actions, while contempt criticism is done with a sense of superiority, targeting identity or a person's intent. This criticism may hide behind well-sarcasm or "I'm just being honest." Even if the facts are accurate, still contempt signals disrespect.



One of the key points of these two poles is that, in constructive criticism, it sounds like "This can be better." While contempt says, "You are the problem, dear." Which is why contempt shuts down listening. Becasue it triggers shame.



How to Give Feedback That Invites Change Instead of Resistance




Before giving feedback, just take a pause and ask yourself a simple question: Do I want to be right, or do I want this to work? Then there can be possibilities that feedback can land better when the other person feels you’re on their side, aiming for the same outcome. Instead of pointing fingers at others, talk about what you saw and how it affected things, not why you think it happened. Try swapping statements with questions like “Did you notice this?” often works better than “You always do this.” Also, think about timing and place becasue feedback given in the wrong moment can feel heavier than intended. Most importantly, let your words show that you believe the other person can improve. It is becasue when people feel they are respected, they listen. And when they feel judged, they resist.



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FAQs
Q1. What are the 3 C's of constructive feedback?

Ans: Concrete, Constructive and Caring




Q2. What are the three F's of feedback?

Ans: Fairness, focus and frequency




Q3. What are the 3 P's of feedback?

Ans: Positive, on Point and Personal