Not settling anymore! Why young Indians are taking longer to say “rishta pakka”
For years, finding a partner in India came wrapped in a quiet deadline. There was always a sense of
figure it out soon. Conversations moved fast, families moved faster, and decisions often came from timing rather than true compatibility.
That pace has changed.
Today, people aren’t rushing toward marriage - they’re walking toward it carefully. Not out of fear, but out of awareness. The goal isn’t just to get married anymore. The goal is to get it right.
And interestingly, data now confirms what many singles already feel: partner search has become less urgent and far more intentional.
From “good enough” to “actually right”Modern singles are no longer treating relationships like a checklist - job, family, background, done. Instead, they’re asking deeper questions:
According to Shaadi.com
’s Trending 2026 Report, users now interact with far more potential matches before choosing a partner.
Average profiles engaged before commitment
Women
Men
Time is the new emotional investmentThe biggest change isn’t just how many people you talk to.
It’s how much attention you give the process.
Average monthly time spent on matchmaking platforms has gone from 14 hours to 22 hours - a 57% increase.
That doesn’t mean people are confused.
It means they’re careful.
Founder and CEO Anupam Mittal explains it perfectly:
In simple terms: commitment hasn’t lost value - impulsiveness has.
The rise of emotional compatibilityEarlier, compatibility often meant similarity.
Today, it means understanding.
People want partners who:
Interestingly, smaller cities are leading this shift. Tier-2 India is showing clearer expectations and stronger filters. Women especially are initiating conversations more confidently than ever before, a quiet but powerful social change.
Why this shift is happeningA few things have changed how people view relationships:
1. Emotional awareness is higher
People recognise unhealthy patterns earlier and don’t want to repeat them.
2. Independence came before partnership
Careers, friendships and personal identity now exist before marriage - not after.
3. Peace beats pressure
A delayed marriage feels safer than a mismatched one.
4. Compatibility predicts stability
People have seen enough unhappy marriages to know chemistry alone isn’t enough.
Choosing, not settlingThe biggest difference between then and now?
Earlier the question was: Will this work?
Now the question is: Will this feel right long-term?
People are okay walking away from “almost perfect.”
They are okay waiting through awkward conversations.
They are okay staying single longer.
Because settling quickly costs more than waiting patiently.
The new definition of commitmentIntentional relationships don’t reduce romance - they deepen it.
When two people choose each other after understanding fears, habits, flaws and expectations, commitment stops being a gamble. It becomes a decision.
And that’s what modern dating is quietly moving toward:
not urgency, not pressure - but clarity.
Intentional matchmaking isn’t a trend anymore.
It’s how relationships are being built now.
figure it out soon. Conversations moved fast, families moved faster, and decisions often came from timing rather than true compatibility.
That pace has changed.
Today, people aren’t rushing toward marriage - they’re walking toward it carefully. Not out of fear, but out of awareness. The goal isn’t just to get married anymore. The goal is to get it right.
And interestingly, data now confirms what many singles already feel: partner search has become less urgent and far more intentional.
From “good enough” to “actually right”Modern singles are no longer treating relationships like a checklist - job, family, background, done. Instead, they’re asking deeper questions:
- Do we communicate well?
- Are our emotional needs compatible?
- Do we want similar lifestyles?
- Will this feel peaceful five years from now?
According to Shaadi.com
’s Trending 2026 Report, users now interact with far more potential matches before choosing a partner.
Average profiles engaged before commitment
Women
- 2020: 16 profiles
- 2026: 25 profiles (+56%)
Men
- 2020: 8 profiles
- 2026: 14 profiles (+42%)
Time is the new emotional investmentThe biggest change isn’t just how many people you talk to.
It’s how much attention you give the process.
Average monthly time spent on matchmaking platforms has gone from 14 hours to 22 hours - a 57% increase.
That doesn’t mean people are confused.
It means they’re careful.
Founder and CEO Anupam Mittal explains it perfectly:
In simple terms: commitment hasn’t lost value - impulsiveness has.
The rise of emotional compatibilityEarlier, compatibility often meant similarity.
Today, it means understanding.
People want partners who:
- respect boundaries
- handle conflict calmly
- communicate openly
- support individuality
Interestingly, smaller cities are leading this shift. Tier-2 India is showing clearer expectations and stronger filters. Women especially are initiating conversations more confidently than ever before, a quiet but powerful social change.
Why this shift is happeningA few things have changed how people view relationships:
1. Emotional awareness is higher
People recognise unhealthy patterns earlier and don’t want to repeat them.
2. Independence came before partnership
Careers, friendships and personal identity now exist before marriage - not after.
3. Peace beats pressure
A delayed marriage feels safer than a mismatched one.
4. Compatibility predicts stability
People have seen enough unhappy marriages to know chemistry alone isn’t enough.
Choosing, not settlingThe biggest difference between then and now?
Earlier the question was: Will this work?
Now the question is: Will this feel right long-term?
People are okay walking away from “almost perfect.”
They are okay waiting through awkward conversations.
They are okay staying single longer.
Because settling quickly costs more than waiting patiently.
The new definition of commitmentIntentional relationships don’t reduce romance - they deepen it.
When two people choose each other after understanding fears, habits, flaws and expectations, commitment stops being a gamble. It becomes a decision.
And that’s what modern dating is quietly moving toward:
not urgency, not pressure - but clarity.
Intentional matchmaking isn’t a trend anymore.
It’s how relationships are being built now.
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