A lot of children have been brought up being told what to do. Wear this. Eat this. Study now. Sleep now. Don’t do this. Do that. Finish this first. Then do that. They are extremely obedient by the time they become adults but tend not to be very confident when making independent decisions. And then one day when they are grown up, we want them to make decisions, decide on subjects, decide on friends, decide on a career, decide on how to spend their time, decide on what is right and what is wrong. Decision-making is not something that just shows up when a person reaches eighteen. It starts very small, very early.





One simple way many parents are slowly learning is to just say two small words more often: “You choose.”





It may be extremely easy to hear, however, it gradually also trains children to think, compare, make a decision, and be responsible about their decision.





1. Let them choose their clothes sometimes

It might not match. Colours might clash. Shoes might not go with the outfit. But that is okay. Children begin to feel positive about their own decisions when they decide on the clothes to wear. It also makes them grow up and form their preferences rather than their constant expectation of someone around telling them what to do.



2. Give small choices, not big ones

Instead of asking, “What do you want to eat?” which is a big open question, give two options. “Do you want rice or chapati?” “Do you want to do homework now or after dinner?” It simplifies decision-making and makes it less confusing and the children gradually learn to make choices.



3. Let them solve small problems

If they lose a pencil, don’t immediately replace it. Ask them what they think they should do. Borrow one? Search for it? Use another pen? These small situations teach children to think instead of immediately depending on someone else.



4. Let them face small consequences

When they do not want to pack their bag and forget something behind, allow them to handle it once. Not in a mean manner, but only to make them realize decisions come with consequences. This is one of the biggest lessons in decision-making.



5. Ask for their opinion at home

Simple things like “Which movie should we watch?” “Where should we go this weekend?” “What should we cook today?” make children feel that their opinion matters. It also makes them think and express what they want.





Decision-making is not taught through lectures. It is taught through small everyday choices. Children who are allowed to make small decisions while growing up slowly become adults who are not scared of making big decisions later in life.





Sometimes all it takes is for parents to step back a little and say,

“You choose.”